Secrets of communication: how to achieve from people what you want

We are social creatures, so we need communication. Starting from the kindergarten, we strive to tie a connection: I get acquainted with the children, we play together, quarrel, and Musya. It continues all his life - at school, university, at work. Even becoming elderly, people are looking for a circle of interlocutors with whom you can communicate.

Some people do not know how to communicate effectively, so when trying to build often fail. Because of this, they suffer, without understanding why it happens.

One of the reasons is that, communicating, people tend to drag their feelings, hide them. Subsequently, this leads to blocking the expression of true emotions. Because of this, a vicious circle of misunderstanding arises.

Any effective communication begins with the ability to listen to the interlocutor. Not just to hear what he says, but listen, penetrate. After all, we usually listen not to the words of a partner, but to their reaction to them. And here you need to be able to hear another person. To do this, it is necessary to attach a conscious effort.

When you talk to a person, see him right in the eye, then you will be able to understand his feelings and express your own. Sincerely try to understand his point of view. When a person speaks everything he wants, ask a clarifying issue to make sure that you understand it correctly.

Such behavior will position to you the interlocutor, will show that you carefully and respect your conversation. You do not have to agree with his opinion, but at the same time try to understand it. People appreciate it.

There is another important point. Express your feelings and attitude towards a person positive spirit. Avoid accusations, reproaches, they will only bother your interlocutor to defend themselves. If you want to express disapproval, then express our discontent, but not by the person himself (not "you are so-Syak!", And "Your yesterday's act was upset and offended"). Learn how to change this situation so that it is no longer repeated. Be specific, do not spread the thought in the tree.

Discussing the problem, keep calm. It is easy to say, it is harder to do, especially if they burly. Do not heal yourself, on the contrary, calm down, relax, otherwise the conversation can fail. Consider up to ten, make some slow deep breaths and exhalations. Use any methods in order to reset the tension and relax.

To make a positive result, it is very important to choose the right moment. Best of all, when a person is not hungry, it does not distract him (phone calls, etc.). Such conditions create a favorable background for conversation.

Observe these rules, show sensitivity to the partner, listen to it and try to understand. In this case, the likelihood that your communication will be productive, and you will be able to achieve the task.

Sometimes each of us has to join the new team. This happens not only on the new job, but also in the classroom in the gym, the pool, on the journey, etc. How to build the beginning of relationships with people so that they become pleasant and delivered you pleasure?

First of all, coming to a new team, do not try to immediately show yourself. First look at the people who surround you, learn a little. In the initial period less talk about yourself, and listen more and watch.

Refrain from participation in gossip. Especially at the beginning of the relationship! Sometimes people wanting to get close to you and cause your trust, begin to tell you an impartial belongings about other members of the team. Go away from such discussions. It is not necessary to give a sharp rebuff, otherwise you can restore the interlocutor against yourself. Just silently listen to him and then tactfully change the topic of conversation. If you do not participate in the gossip, subsequently, people will appreciate and imbued with respect.

Make people compliments, praise opens hearts. I do not need to flatter, it looks insincere and always felt. Just find something good in a person and tell him about it. Friendly communication manner facilitates the beginning of the relationship.

Do not boast, it annoys people. The desire to talk about their achievements, unrestrained to brag by their everyday well-being, husband, children speaks of an unconscious desire to rise over other people, show them that you are better than them. Even if you have everything wonderful, do not protrude it. Keep modestly, do not give a reason for envy, thereby, you will save yourself from negative.

The language of communication consists not only from words. There are many subtle psychological components here. Specialists have developed a code of communication, which facilitates the establishment of contacts between people. Here is its rules:

• Express so much information as you need - no more and no less. Do not ship the interlocutor with unnecessary information, at the same time do not hide important.
• Information should be true. You can not lie. It's one thing - to default that you do not want to talk, and another thing is to inform false information, sit.
• Speak on the topic, do not go aside.
• Excry yourself clearly and briefly.
• Be tactful and delicate. Avoid those that can cause a conflict (religion, national issues, personal life, salary, etc.).
• Be positive and friendly, approve the behavior and words of the interlocutor.
• Keep modestly, do not allow and excessive praise to your address.
• Go from conflicts. Seeing the birth of the conflict, try to repay him.

Of course, in everything we must observe the measure. Excessive "straining" also sway as rudeness and sharpness. Try to keep the golden middle.

Like people

People differ in their own: characters, temperaments, ways to communicate. Therefore, everyone has a language of communication. Consider this difference, then you can build favorable relationships and easier to achieve your goals.

These are these types:

The first one is dominant. The person of this type immediately seeks to seize the lead in communication. He talks loudly, does not tolerate when it is interrupted. Communicating, in no case, do not interrupt it. Quietly and politely wait for a pause in a conversation, then quickly and clear what you need.

The second type is characterized by a mobile psyche. Such a person says a lot, easily jumps from the theme on the topic, sometimes it can escape from the topic far away. Be careful and tactfully return it to the question under discussion, do not let him be distracted.

For the third type, the absence of maneuverability and flexibility is characteristic. It is difficult for him to communicate, so he needs to help. Try to find a approach to it. First, talk it, then he will be able to communicate normally.

Fourth type - introvert. He is alarming, Mnight. With strangers, he may close, so it is better to communicate with it alone. Support it, praise. Reliable respect. Then he will reveal and start interacting with you.

The communication language also includes non-verbal signals: poses, gestures, facial expressions, gait, movement, intonation of words.